Bitterness, Regret, Understanding
by BarbaraB
Summary: rated for language. sequel to Sadness, Loneliness, Emptiness. The morning after, Logan's POV. R/R


_Title: _**Bitterness, Regret, Understanding**

_Author:_ Barbara B. 

_Archiving:_ sure just ask 

_Notes:_ The second story. I think I like writing again! I think I have an idea for at least one more story relating to this. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I really appreciate it and this is for y'all. 

He opted to skip the danger room, and the barmaids, and spent the night in the woods behind the mansion. 

It was raining of course. It had started a short while after he'd left Ororo standing in the center of her room. 

He roamed the woods for hours silently letting his mind think about anything and everything, but what had just happened. 

He thought about scooping Jubes for the weekend, and going to Canada . He dismissed that idea. He was in a shitty mood and didn't want the kid worrying about him. She would try to cheer him up and he wasn't sure if he wanted to be cheered up. 

A cacophony of chirping signified the arrival of morning. The rain hadn't stopped, but it had let up some. It was drizzling now, and the ground was muddy. 

Logan noticed a little wooden marker in the ground and recognized it as a burial site for Kitty's short lived pet sparrow. Logan had given it to her after finding it lying under one of the trees in the yard. It had fallen from its nest. It died less than two days later, not from lack of attention from Illyana and a younger Kitty Pryde, but from its injuries. The girl had held a small funeral, and buried it under a random tree. 

His mind recalled another memory. He looked for the tree with the optic blast inscription. When he found it he didn't bother rereading it. He knew it by heart because he imagined it was him who had engraved it into the bark and not Scott. The words were Scott's wedding vows to Jean. She had once told Logan that they had not said vows at their wedding and this was their way of publicly proclaiming their love for each other. Jean's tree was close by. 

This saddened Wolverine to the point of anger, for this reminded him of the kind of thing that he would have done with Jean. 

A burst of rage seized him by the gut, and his claws extended. Using both hands he cut through the tree at waist height with a yell. He finished the tree off sending it falling over with a drop kick. 

He circled the tree like an enemy with his claws still popped. He examined his work. The inscription lay face up and Wolverine shoved it with a muddy boot, rolling it so that the words didn't show. 

He retracted his claws and sat heavily on the clean stump, repeatedly rubbing a hand over his face. When he closed his eyes he saw Ororo's face when she said she was a substitute for Jean. That face tugged at his heart strings a courtesy of his conscience. 

He finally let himself go over the events of the night before. He'd come to Ororo's room expecting nothing out of the ordinary. They had been lovers for 2 years give or take. How had it started? Well one day they went from friends who'd saved each others lives to friends who saved each other from lonely nights. 

The details weren't important. 

Logan wished Ororo had picked a better time to break it off. Sometimes it was hard-even for him-to think with a hard-on. He knew he had acted like a horny teenager back there, and he felt bad for treating Ororo like a sex object. 

However, he was finding it hard to be sorry for all the sex they had. He enjoyed it thoroughly, and he knew-for damn sure-that she enjoyed it too. Who gave a rat's ass who he was imagining during it. He wouldn't get all pissy if Ororo was thinkin' of Cyclops. 

On second thought. 

He regretted not stopping by the fridge to get a six pack. 

He could recall when they had gone from friends to friends with benefits, but when the hell had it gotten complicated? He knew the answer to that one too: When everyone started running their mouths about Ororo and Logan finally admitting their feelings for one another, and becoming a couple. 

A couple of what? 

_That's probably when Roro started getting' all confused, and thinking she had feelings for me_. Logan deliberated. _Not to mention the Cajun filling her head with all that nonsense_. _Who am I kiddin'? Ororo's a smart woman. She wasn't just manipulated by the gossip. _

Before his thoughts could go any farther Logan stood. He ran as fast as he could toward the lake, stripping off his clothes until he was naked. When he made it there he dove in without missing a beat. 

"Nothing like a cold, cold dip in the lake to clear your head and your loins, henh mon amie." Remy said as Logan was coming back up. 

"As a man who's never been able to touch his woman--I'll take your word for it, Cajun." 

If that comeback had done anything to rustle Remy's feathers he showed no sign of it. 

"Touché." He sat, chain smoking, on a log by the lakeside. 

"You wanna know why I'm sitting out here in the cold air with 'squitos sucking me dry when I could be smoking in central air?" 

Logan now stood up to his waist in the lake. He started doing his morning martial arts routine facing away from Gambit. "Not really." 

"I'll tell you why." Remy snapped, sharply almost cutting Logan off. He was running on a short fuse, "'Cause mah Stormy is asleep in my bed. She came to me for comfort after you treat her like some kinda whore!" His eyes blazed when he shouted that last thing to Logan 's back. He added quietly. "I know how she hates cigarette smoke." 

"Two things wrong with that sentence, Gumbo." He lunged sideways at an unseen opponent, releasing his claws in the water, "One. She's not _your Stormy_. Roro's a big girl. She can take care of herself. Two. I didn't treat her like a whore." 

"Mebbe not, but you didn't treat her like she deserved to be treated, and that's bad enough." 

"Look this ain't none o' your business." He responded becoming fed up with the conversation. 

"When you use my best friend, and set her up for disappointment it _is_ my business." 

"No, She set her_self_ up. We never had any kind of agreement. We weren't in love, and we weren't a couple." He went deeper into the water. "She knew that." 

Remy knew that was true. He glared at the back of Logan 's head. "I would think that you of all people would know how Stormy feeling right now since you been _madly in love with Jean all dese years." _

"Shutup, Cajun." 

Remy grasped for a way to put it in perspective. "What if Stormy, was picturin' Cycl-," 

"I been there already." 

Remy rested the side of his face on a his palm, and examined his cigarette. "Why are you still here, mon ami? How come you haven't taken off yet? Ain't that what you usually do when things get tough around here?" 

Wolverine ignored that. He bent his knees and fully emerged himself in the water. 

"You know, I'm glad you broke her heart." Remy said thoughtfully when Logan came back up, "Fucks like you and Forge aren't good enough for _mah_ Stormy. The sooner she realize that the better." 

"Oh yeah?" Logan almost yelled, "Well who _is good enough? You?" There was laughter in his voice. "The murderer of the morlocks? The cause for all of her self hatred?" _

In spite of the puke rising in his throat, Remy stayed calm. "Me an' Stormy put that behind us. I apologized she forgave me. End of story." He took a long last drag on his cigarette, and after putting it out on the log he was sitting on, he dropped it in the mud. 

"So what are you buggin' me for?" He asked finally turning around to face Remy. His hands splashed water as he spun. 

"I don't know, homme." Remy said casually, "Mebbe, I just didn't want to see a perfectly good friendship ended on bad terms." He stood, swatting bugs over his head. "She loves you, and if she can't have you as her man, she'll take you as a friend." He stretched his arms out behind his head, and arched his back, "I gotta get back. I promised Stormy I'd bring her breakfast so she wouldn't 'ave to face d'others." He turned and disappeared into the woods. 

Wolverine dunked himself underwater again glad that Remy was gone. _The problem is no one knows how to mind their business around here. That's how shit gets complicated, people stickin' there noses where they don't belong… _He came back up, and headed for land._ …Ain't been 8 hours since I left her room..._ I_ haven't even had a decent chance to think about this, and the Cajun's _already_ got an opinion on it. If you ask me he should be sortin' out his own problems... He retraced his steps through the woods until he had all of his clothes. …_If I'd've known I was going to run into him I would have just beat up some unlucky robots in the danger room. Although something tells me he would have found a way to volunteer his two cents in there too, but at least then we could've scrapped, and I could've kicked his ass for some of the stuff he said. _He grinned at that thought as he walked across the lawn, now fully dressed, and carrying his boots. He pushed open the backdoor, and stepped into the kitchen. The lights were still off, and Remy stood at the counter placing a bowl of cereal, and a cup of tea on a tray. _

"That's breakfast?" 

Remy quirked a grin at him, "Nobody's too good for Lucky Charms." 

Logan shook his head, "Give it here, Gumbo." 

Remy placed the tray in his arms, "Oh sure, after I've done all the work." 

As much as he hated to admit it to himself, Logan was glad that there were no hard feelings. He started up the stairs wondering what exactly he was going to say when he reached Remy's room. 

End 

Please Review. 


End file.
